"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

A quick post from the humorous side from on top of my world.

He is the king of one liners, a subtle dry monotonous voice for an hour or so just the person and a microphone and sentences no longer than twenty words and this is the act.

Nothing like a good standup comedy show, just one person and a microphone - simple.

It has been a while since I discovered him but I always find myself quoting one of the classics.

So here are a few of my favourites:

• I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
• I can levitate birds but nobody cares.
  
• When I die I am going to leave my body for science - fiction.
• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
• Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
• I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
• I invented the cordless extension cord.
• I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
• I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
• I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
• I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
• Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes.
• Is "tired old cliche" one?
• Was it somebody's cruel idea to put an "S" in the word "LISP" ?
• My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it. So I'm going to move to New York.

This is my dedication to Steven Wright - The king of one liners.

Let me know what you think.